Before we get down to talking about how zombies are better than unicorns, we have to announce the winner of the signed Sarah Rees Brennan books. Only…we’re not going to just announce the winner. You’ll have to read below to see who it was!

Recently two of us here at whatchYAreading sat down and read a fantastic anthology full of our favourite authors. We both liked it so much that we thought we’d do a joint review. And that’s where things went wrong. We tried to agree on a favourite story, a favourite author, but we couldn’t. All of our communications we suddenly filled with shouts of “Team Unicorn!” Or “Zombie’s eat unicorn’s for breakfast!”

And so, we did what any self-respecting book blogger would do. We had an argument.

Team Unicorn: Unicorns kick zombie ass and the whole world knows it.

Team Zombie: I’m sorry. I think you have that backwards. ZOMBIES are the ass kickers. Unicorns are prissy losers.

Team Unicorn: Nono, this book proves my theory. Unicorns Win. Zombies…wither away because no one cares about them.

Team Zombie: What are you talking about? Zombies ruled this book! Did you not read Carrie Ryan’s story!?

Team Unicorn: I read it…and then quickly moved on to Margo Lanagan’s which was funny and awesome.

Team Zombie: If by Margo you mean Maureen, and by Lanagan you mean Johnson, then ok, that makes sense. Or perhaps you meant Cassandra Clare? Her story was as amazing as her books. The gut clenching angst of it was…amazing.  See? I can’t even speak I’m so stupefied by the zombies’ infinite superiority

Team Unicorn: ….actually, Maureen Johnson is possibly my favourite author in this book so I’ll give you a point there. But that is exactly why the Unicorn’s totally rocked this book. The majority of my favourite authors were on Team Zombie and I still loved the unicorn stories more.

Team Zombie: Well, the majority of my favorite authors were on Team Zombie and I still loved the Zombie stories more. Your point is negated.

Team Unicorn: Did you read The Third Virgin? How was that not awesome, and metaphorical, and brilliant? Man, I want to meet a disturbed and violent unicorn

Team Zombie: It was good, sure. But Bougainvillea was better.

Team Unicorn: I disagree.

Team Zombie: Zombies are harder to love, and yet the stories are all so good! I mean come on, farting rainbows? Way less cool than decomposing flesh and brain nomming.

Team Unicorn: Yeah, but that Unicorn helped with a rescue mission! And high school vengeance! All the zombies did was…eat people. Gross.

Team Zombie: Unicorns killed Nymphadora Tonks. John Green said so. It therefore must be true.

Team Unicorn: Don’t bring John Green into this. If the author wasn’t in the book, they are a moot point.

Team Zombie: John Green writes honest books about reality and how hard life is! YOU MUST TRUST HIM!

Team Unicorn: See previous point. (Also, John Green licked a cat….and you’re telling me trust him?)

Team Zombie: I bet Scott Westerfield would agree with John Green. And HE is in the book. On the winning side!

Team Unicorn: Yeah, and his story had rebellious teenagers being idiots.

Team Zombie: Right. Humans. Not zombies!

Team Unicorn: They voluntarily became zombies. And then screwed with each other emotionally.

Team Zombie: I didn’t see them lining up to become unicorns. Did you!?

Team Unicorn: Dude! I will join that line! Diana Peterfreund wrote a story about girl who discovers her own strength and passion. She went against the social norm and made a discovery that will affect her whole world. What did people in zombie stories do? Get eaten, watch others get eaten, and generally think about death and destruction. Lame. Unicorns saved lives, reputations, and kingdoms. And some of them killed people. The cover so much more than dumb old zombies.

Team Zombie: Some of them killed people? You had unicorns sucking the lives out of people! Lame. Eating brains is way cooler. Besides, the zombie metaphor is the cooler metaphor

Team Unicorn: But I only saw one metaphor with the zombies. The unicorn’s can be altered to fit a plethora of metaphors.

Team Zombie: Which makes them less cool. They don’t have an identity! And really, Zombies are a cooler fear. The undead, digging yourself out of a grave, the constant need to feed. The writhing and unstoppable masses of The Returned in Carrie Ryan’s world? How can that not send a weird spark of discomfort through you.

Team Unicorn: Yeah..discomfort. I prefer the awesome spark that Unicorns send though me.

Team Zombie: No, no, no! The idea that the dead can’t stay dead, that they’re the people that you loved but they aren’t them anymore.So much more tragic than fluffy white unicorns. Unicorns just make you giggle. Like, if I saw an angry unicorn, I’d laugh. Zombies….shudder.

Team Unicorn: Unicorns have a permanent weapon on their head. They are nothing to laugh about. Zombies are dumb and slow and ugly.

Team Zombie: I permanently keep a can of mace in my car. That doesn’t make me dangerous. I mean, look. At the end of the day, if I got stabbed with a unicorn horn, maybe my life could be saved. If I got my brain eaten, I’d just be a zombie. Zombies make more zombies. Superiority. They are a conquering monster!

Team Unicorn: You don’t unicorns make more unicorns? Despite the unicorn enjoying the presence of a virgin, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they are all virgins.

Team Zombie: They can’t make ME a unicorn. Or our contest winner, Heidi! But I bet zombies could make zombie unicorns.

Team Unicorn: Hmmm….I wonder if Unicorn could cure Zombie-ism and then there could be this all out battle of zombies trying to turn unicorns into zombies and unicorns trying to zombies back into people…preferably virgins.

Team Zombie: I say definitely not. Zombies are always  hungry. The unicorns lack their stamina.

Team Unicorn: How do you know what the unicorns lack? This is my story! Wait…we’re supposed to be talking about a book.

Team Zombie: We have been! Zombies are cooler therefore zombie stories are cooler therefore the zombie parts of the book are cooler.

Team Unicorn: Keep telling yourself that. We all know that unicorns are more awesome than Zombies. And awesome beats cool. Every time.

Team Zombie: Zombies don’t die. They get the last word. See? Victory.

Team Unicorn: I see you have just as much maturity as Justine Larbalestier…..UNICORNS!

Because Team Zombie is so much cooler than Team Unicorn, I snagged a copy of Zombies vs. Unicorns at the Jackson, MS Smart Chicks tour stop  and had it signed by  the amazingly adorable, way too nice (and omgsquee I just want to cuddle her even if she is on the wrong side of this debate) Holly Black and fellow Team Zombie member, Cassandra Clare. Want to get your (hopefully grubby and decomposing) hands on it? Be from North America and leave a comment on this entry telling us which team you support by midnight, CST on Monday, October 25. You get an extra entry if you follow us on Twitter or tweet about the contest. I’ll try my very best to be a good blogger and not ignore all Team Unicorn entries. Swearsies. Good luck!

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